
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/4141314.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Persona_4
  Relationship:
      Seta_Souji/Tatsumi_Kanji, Narukami_Yu/Tatsumi_Kanji
  Additional Tags:
      Misunderstandings, Awkwardness, First_Time
  Stats:
      Published: 2015-06-15 Words: 5622
****** And I Hope That You Don't Mind My Looking After ******
by pennysparkle
Summary
     "It's not a big deal. Either you sleep on the floor or you sleep in
     the bed with us," Souji says with a sense of finality.
     "Yeah, I don't mind sleeping with you, senpai."
Notes
See the end of the work for notes
From the very beginning, Souji knows it's going to be a problem. Yosuke
alternates between being jealous to the point that it's impossible to
understand how he doesn't realize it for himself, and just plain not knowing
when to stop talking–Souji knows this, even though they've only been friends
for a few months, and from the time they step into the seedy lobby of the
equally seedy hotel, he's prepared for some kind of altercation.
The thing is that Souji and Yosuke are best friends, but sometimes he thinks
maybe Yosuke is flirting with him, and he comes off a little bit possessive if
he thinks that Souji's going after someone else. It's disconcerting when paired
with the way he acts toward Kanji–all afraid that he's going to make a move on
him, spewing crass comments that kind of irritate even Souji (who thinks of
himself as fairly easygoing), belittling him and refusing to listen no matter
how many times Kanji has reaffirmed his disinterest. Souji's tried to tell him
in private that it's a mean thing to do, but it's like Yosuke just
can't help himself from saying it. But then, that's Yosuke: he opens his mouth
and immediately shoves his foot in it.
At this point, it feels futile to even try and avoid such an eventuality.
Yosuke will get defensive and Souji can only make sure they know he doesn't
approve of it, and assure Kanji later on that Yosuke doesn't mean it like
that–he's just... probably not comfortable with himself.
He's already on his toes when they step into the gaudy, ill-lit room. There's
so much to see already: bright red wallpaper, an entirely too large bed (just
the one), panels of mirrors on the ceiling. If Kashiwagi really thought she was
getting away with this, Souji would be incredibly surprised.
"How does she expect us all to sleep in one bed?!" is Yosuke's first remark. Of
course that'd be his main concern. Not that they're in a love hotel, or that
there's–well then–condoms and assorted other bits in the bedside table drawer.
Souji clears his throat and straightens up, trying not to laugh to himself.
"Well... we could all fit in it, probably. With some maneuvering," he says. He
peeks into the mini-fridge and oh, there's alcohol in here. Quickly, he shuts
it, before Teddie can see and come up with some kind of weird game to play with
it.
"No way!"
Souji's head lifts up and he's confused for a second before he realizes what
he's suggested. Of course Yosuke would find fault with it. Kanji, however,
doesn't seem to be invested in the conversation, and is more bothered with the
TV guide, which, as far as Souji can see, features quite a bit of nudity. Kanji
is so flustered he can't even put it back down without dropping it.
When he turns his gaze back, Yosuke is looking at him expectantly, and Souji
flounders uncharacteristically for a moment. The only thing that allows him to
regain some modicum of composure is the realization that Kanji's approached
them again, and has taken up position hovering slightly behind him.
"Where do you want to sleep, then?"
"The bed, of course!"
Souji's eyebrows raise, even though he's not particularly shocked. "But it's
big enough for all of us. You're going to take up the entire bed for yourself?"
"Yeah!" Yosuke doesn't seem to realize how selfish this sounds, but Souji's
sure it's not that–he just really wants to ensure that he doesn't have to sleep
next to someone who might, in his strange world, have cooties.
"You want us to sleep on the floor?" he asks.
Now Yosuke's acting all fidgety, shifty-eyed. "I mean... I didn't say that."
"So you'd be willing to sleep on the floor?" Kanji pipes in.
Yosuke scowls. "Make Teddie do it!"
Having heard his name, Teddie finally perks up from examining a magazine that
had been laying on the other bedside table, though his face crumples comically
when he realizes what had been said. "You're bear-aking my heart, Yosuke!"
"Man... I don't wanna sleep on the floor either. It's gonna mess up my back,"
Kanji mutters, rubbing at it preemptively.
Yosuke huffs and crosses his arms over his chest. "Well I'm not sleeping
there."
"There's enough room for all of us." Souji's said this about four times now,
and still Yosuke refuses to listen.
"I'm not going to sleep with you guys! What if we... touch."
Kanji guffaws loudly, like he thinks Yosuke is joking, but no. He's utterly and
completely serious.
"It's not a big deal. Either you sleep on the floor or you sleep in the bed
with us," Souji says with a sense of finality.
"Yeah, I don't mind sleeping with you, senpai."
"You guys are so weird!" Yosuke yells. "Make Teddie sleep in the bed with you!"
From where he'd moved on from the magazine and instead taken to enjoying the
rotation of the bed, Teddie's head pops up. "I want to have a sleepover with
sensei!"
Souji tries to hold back his frustration, but they're going in circles. Yosuke
wants to sleep in the bed, except he doesn't want to sleep there with Souji and
Kanji, but he also wants Teddie to sleep there with them–it's just ridiculous.
"Why don't you sleep on the floor, then?" he asks Yosuke.
"No way! If anybody's going to sleep there, it's the bear!"
"What about Kanji and I?"
"Well... two of us could probably fit on the bed," Yosuke says, index finger
poised to his chin as if this is really taking any kind of consideration at
all. "But not Kanji!"
"Man... we've been over this a thousand times!" Kanji groans. "I'm
not interested!"
"But what if you get a... boner?!"
"Wh– what if you get a boner?!"
"I'm just saying! If I have to share the bed with anybody–and I really don't
want to! But if I had to, it'd be Souji. Right, Souji?"
Souji gives Yosuke a blank look, and maintains it for the five seconds it takes
for Yosuke to start wilting.
"Geez... you guys are weird! Fine then! Me and Ted are going to get our own
room! Where he'll be sleeping on the floor!" And with that, Yosuke grabs Teddie
by one paw and practically drags him off the bed and out of the room.
There's silence between Kanji and Souji now, and it drifts for a few seconds
until they both seem to want to start talking at once.
"Sorr–"
"Weir–"
Souji breaks off, and Kanji does too–really, Souji can't do anything but laugh
awkwardly, and Kanji joins in after a second.
"He's weird," Kanji says at length, rubbing the back of his neck as he glances
up at Souji, head ducked.
"Yeah... sorry about that." Yosuke's jealousy was pretty easy for Souji to see,
but maybe it'd be awkward to mention that to Kanji. After all, for someone who
protests so much, Yosuke is awfully concerned with who gets to spend the most
time with Souji. He can pretend it's about being partners or best friends, but
that doesn't stop him from getting pouty if Souji mentions a girl. And maybe
it's only subconsciously, but he's just as defensive about Souji talking to
guys.
It's not like it matters that much anymore, though. He's gone off, probably to
stew in his own irritation for a while, and Souji will smooth it over later in
the night. If he's being honest, it's just as hard on him to have his best
friend mad at him.
"He's not the kind of guy I would go after anyway," Kanji says into the
silence, and then his face turns red and he stutters in his hurry to correct
himself. "I mean, you know... if I had to pick a guy to go after. But I'm not
like that, senpai!"
Souji gives him a weak smile. He really doesn't get why Kanji feels the need to
defend himself so vehemently when it's only him; it's not like he's constantly
questioning him, not the way Yosuke does. "It wouldn't bother me if you were,
Kanji. You know that, right? It wouldn't change anything between us."
"Y-yeah... I guess you're right." For some reason, he looks a little bit
disappointed. "I guess it'll be easier to figure out who sleeps where now, huh,
senpai?"
Souji smiles. "I don't mind sleeping with you. Unless you're worried
about me coming on to you."
"Huh? Why would you do that?!" Kanji practically chokes out.
"... It's a joke."
"Oh." He laughs weakly, tugging at the collar of his shirt, then glances around
the room again. "So... we'll share the bed."
"Yes."
"Great... That'll–that'll be just great, senpai."
Everyone is acting so weird today. Souji's not sure what it is, but he's not
about to open that can of oddities. He just crouches down to dig through his
bag, pulling out a change of clothes and his toiletries.
"Oh–gonna take a shower?" Kanji asks. He's hovering right over Souji, following
him around like a lost duckling, and Souji's eyebrows raise as he stands up
again.
"Yes. Is that a problem?"
"No! Not at all! Be my guest." With an awkward flourish, he ushers Souji
forward and Souji bows in teasing response.
The bathroom is just as seedy as he would have expected–low red lighting, a
jacuzzi tub and a shower head that could be detached from the wall. There's
more condoms in the drawers when he looks, and he grimaces a little as he
undresses, feeling somewhat unsettled by being here.
His shower is quick and he doesn't even bother to dry himself off that
thoroughly before he tugs on his underwear and lounge pants, then exits the
hazy mist of the bathroom. It's cooler in the room, feels nice on his skin, and
he sighs as he rubs the towel through his hair.
"Uh–senpai, did you forget a shirt?" Kanji asks from where he's sitting cross-
legged on the floor, needle poised in one hand and a tiger plush in the other.
"Hm? No." With a soft exhale of exhaustion, Souji sits on the bed behind Kanji,
peering down at the movements of his hands. For the size of them, they move
quickly and accurately, confidently pushing the needle through fabric and
tugging the thread into place, then repeating. Souji pillows his cheek in his
own hand, transfixed.
"So, uh... did you wanna do something? I don't know if you're tired yet... if
you are, that's fine!"
"There's not exactly a lot to do here," Souji says drily. "Unless you want to
put the huge stock of condoms to use."
Kanji sputters, accidentally pokes himself with the needle and drops the plush
entirely. It doesn't draw any blood, so Souji guesses he doesn't have to worry
that much, but still. There's no need to be so flustered all the time. Then
again, that's kind of Kanji's modus operandi.
"Ha–" he laughs half-heartedly, turning his head to look wild-eyed at Souji.
"That's funny, senpai!"
Souji's eyebrows raise, giving him the same blank look he'd given Yosuke
earlier.
"Uh... y'know... I think I'm feelin' pretty tired now!" Kanji announces. He
stands so quickly he nearly trips up, then hurries toward the bathroom with his
bag in tow.
He's in there so long that Souji's settled in with his book and gotten a good
twenty pages done before he returns. But the shower hadn't been on, he's
wearing the same clothes as earlier, and he seems as dry and warm to the eyes
as he had before. Souji clears his throat, lays the book down in his lap as
Kanji approaches, but he only hovers around the edge, unsure of what to do.
"Would you still like to sleep?" Souji prompts.
"Yeah! I just... uh... so I'll sleep on this side, right?"
He's acting so strangely. Souji just nods and pats the bed, and Kanji lifts the
corner of the duvet with a sense of unease, sliding in but remaining so close
to the edge of the mattress that he might fall off at any second.
Souji hadn't expected him to act like Yosuke about this. He wonders if the
comment he'd made about condoms before Kanji had ran off to the bathroom had
really bothered him that much.
"You can take the bed," he says eventually.
"H-hey! What? What's wrong?"
"I don't want to make you feel weird," Souji says, lifting the covers up and
starting to get out, only Kanji's suddenly right above him and then on top of
him and oh–pressing Souji back into the bed with his weight.
"... Kanji?"
"Don't leave, senpai." He's mumbling right against Souji's neck, breath warm
enough that it makes him shiver.
"Okay."
Kanji doesn't move though. He inhales deeply, pushing his face closer to
Souji's neck as his hips shift. He's hard, cock pressing against Souji's thigh,
and that... that wasn't the direction he was expecting this to take. But maybe
it's not bad? It's not like Souji hasn't thought about certain friends in a
certain way, and one of them was Kanji and... his mind is starting to race but
his body has already made its move, thighs parting to either side of Kanji's
waist so that he falls down in between them, cock pressed snugly against
Souji's body.
Kanji's clearly surprised–his eyes are wide when they peek up at Souji, mouth
slack, eyebrows furrowed. He must not have expected him to just accept this.
But Souji's going to, and all this waiting is just wasting time, so he nudges
his hips up and lets Kanji feel the start of his own arousal.
"T-this is really okay?" Kanji asks. Souji nods slowly, making sure he sees
every moment of it, so that he knows it's allowed, that Souji wants it too.
A tentative smile settles on Kanji's face as he rocks his hips down in just as
hesitant a manner, the barest tease of friction, and then he's still again. His
hips dip down, Souji's strain up–and then gone again. Souji bites his lip and
squeezes his legs around Kanji's waist, using that leverage to grind up against
him.
Kanji moans in his ear. It's shaky and self-conscious, but at least that means
Souji's doing the right thing, and he grins against the side of Kanji's face as
he places a kiss high against his cheekbone. Now it's feeling better, because
Kanji seems a little more interested, the grind of his body against Souji's
moving toward rough and satisfying.
It's dizzying, feels unreal–and maybe it's the scenery that helps, but right
now it feels like nothing exists or needs to exist but this bed and the two of
them on top of it rutting against one another, driving each other closer and
closer toward a point that they've never reached with anyone else before.
And Souji wants to make Kanji feel good. He wants to do more than just this, so
one hand slips under his own knee, tucks it up higher until Kanji can push
against his ass. It makes him gasp and moan right against Kanji's ear, tilting
his hips up as his legs tighten around his waist. He feels so good–heavy and
muscled and warm, his cock pressing right up against Souji's ass through the
fabric of their pants, and he's all flushed and completely blindsided. Souji
wants to make him feel good so badly; it's not like anything he's ever felt
before, this bolt of lust making him wild for Kanji's touch.
"Kanji... you want to do this with me, don't you?" he asks, licking his lips
feverishly. He surprises even himself. His eyes are only halfway open–he feels
like what he assumes being drunk must feel like. Everything feels good
and weighted, the tremble of arousal in his stomach pulling him down and making
him feel delirious with how much he wants it. Maybe he's being reckless, but he
likes it.
"Yeah... definitely," Kanji replies. He's pushing down harder, one large hand
curled around Souji's thigh and pressing it back deeper until he can feel the
stretch, grinding forward against his ass until Souji's breathing is loud in
his own ears. It's embarrassing, and the best way he can think of to stop
himself is to lift his head and press his lips to Kanji's.
It seems he finally has the idea–this isn't Souji playing around, not something
he's going to excuse himself out of. Kanji relaxes, parts his lips, pushes his
tongue into Souji's mouth and rubs it against his. It's sloppy and rough enough
that his teeth press into the soft flesh of Souji's lip, and soon
they're both breathing hard, trading kisses and moaning into each other's
mouths as Kanji presses down into Souji.
He can't help but wonder what it would be like to have more. If he were to ask
Kanji to take another step, and it's odd to think about–odd that he's
completely fine with hypothetically losing his virginity to Kanji, but really,
would he want it to be anyone else?
There's something special about Kanji, something that he doesn't receive from
the rest of the Investigation Team. Everyone else he always feels a little bit
like he's taking care of, but Kanji is a backbone. Kanji is strong, never
wavers, holds up under pressure. As much as it's a thing of respect, there's an
attraction there too. He wants to be close to Kanji, wants more from him than
he'd really had time to consider before.
"Senpai? You okay with this?" Kanji asks, his fingers loosening their grip on
Souji's thigh.
"Of course." As proof, he reaches down between their bodies, attempting to
maneuver his hand through the tight space enough to unbutton and unzip Kanji's
jeans. It's not working out particularly well, but Kanji sits up after a moment
and takes care of it himself.
He looks nervous when he's finished and Souji reaches out to tuck his
fingertips under his waistband, so he goes slowly–eyes on Kanji the whole time
in case he decides he's changed his mind, but he gets his underwear pushed down
and his hand wrapped around his cock and the only thing Kanji does is stifle a
moan against his own shoulder.
Souji's eyes stay locked on his as he starts to jerk him off. He feels good in
Souji's hand–thick, hot, the pulse of arousal tangible under his palm. For a
moment, his mind skips forward to the potential of having this inside of him,
and he has to swallow, eyes fluttering and his hand faltering.
"Kanji... is this okay?"
"Y-yeah... yeah... it feels good." He's so red in the face and his brows are
furrowed, eyes unable to stay on Souji's because he's too busy looking down
between them at Souji's hand encircling his cock.
"What if we did something else?" Souji asks all in a rush. He'd been thinking
it, sure, but he hadn't meant to say it. Then again, so many images have rushed
through his mind in the past several minutes, of what he and Kanji could do,
that 'something else' could really be anything.
"Like what?"
"Hm..." It's a stretch, but maybe...
Souji bucks up against him, using surprise more than his body weight to tumble
them over until Kanji's on his back on the bed and Souji's resting on top of
him. It's awkward and consists of far more pointy elbows and kneecaps than it
should, but he manages to turn himself around and tuck down against Kanji
again, his cock right in front of his face.
It's strange to see it so close up–it's just that Souji's far more interested
in poking his tongue out and lapping at it than he is in examining it at any
length. There's precome dripping down, spilling across his tongue until he
curls it over the tip and swipes it away. Underneath him, he can feel Kanji's
stomach heaving slightly, and he hears him groan.
He really is thick. It's difficult to fit into Souji's mouth, but he goes
slowly, and admittedly it's a little bit fun to tease Kanji like this, taking
his time and feeling his body tremble with each flick of his tongue, each inch
further into the heat of his mouth he goes.
Or at least it's fun until he feels hands suddenly cupping around his ass, a
finger rubbing over his hole through the thin fabric. He gasps, pulling off of
Kanji's cock so that he can look over his shoulder curiously.
"What are you doing...?"
"I wanna make you feel good, senpai," Kanji murmurs, his hands starting to tug
the fabric of his lounge pants down. "Can I do that?"
Souji swallows. For some reason it's that statement which has him second
guessing. He wants to go that far, but if they get to that precipice and go
over, then is Kanji going to act as weird as he did earlier? What about all the
assurances that he wasn't 'like that'? He'd been so sure he would be okay with
losing something like this to Kanji, but if he's just going to brush Souji off,
then...
"Is that a good idea?" he asks carefully.
"I mean... I really want it. But if this is just... something to pass the time
for you, then it's fine." Kanji sounds lost all of a sudden, his body tensing
up like he doesn't really want to do this at all, and Souji guesses he's gone
ahead and made things weird anyway. He moves off of Kanji, sitting to the side
of him with one hand resting delicately on his stomach, unheeding of the fact
that his cock is out and still hard. It'd be weirder if he just instigated such
a conversation in their previous position, right?
"It's not like that. But I'm just... confused," says Souji, trying to word it
as gently as possible. "I thought you said you weren't into this."
"I mean... I'm not. It's not about the fact that you're a guy, y'know? It's
because you're... you. I just... like you, senpai."
Souji's breath hitches a little. All the confusion pours out and the worries
pour in, the fear of letting someone so close when he knows it's not going to
last, because it never does. He hasn't managed to keep a friend between moves,
much less someone who likes him. And he can't do this to Kanji. He can't accept
this when he can't be there for him.
"It's okay if you don't feel the same," Kanji says, breaking him from his
thoughts. He looks pained by the words coming out of him, eyes averted from
Souji, arms crossing over his chest defensively. Like he can hide his heart
away.
"Kanji, you know that when I leave there's a chance I might not come back,
right? It wouldn't be fair of me to start a relationship with you knowing that
whatever happens between us will have to end."
"But–I already like you, senpai. I... like you. I'd rather be with you than
not."
"You don't know what you're saying. You don't know what it's like."
Kanji sits up suddenly, almost knocking his forehead against Souji's as his
hands fumble for his. The look on his face is so fierce, verging on desperation
but full of clarity. "Do you like me, senpai?"
"Of course, Kanji, but..."
"Then don't be a coward! You've never been one, so don't you dare start now!
You're better than that. Besides, you've dealt with scarier situations, haven't
you? So you can deal with something like this. And... and I'll be here backing
you up, just like I always have."
Souji smiles. It falters at first, sits uncomfortably on his lips, but then it
grows and he laughs and nods, and Kanji smiles with him. "I guess you're
right."
"So you wanna try it with me, senpai? Think you're man enough?" Kanji jokes,
his hands falling to Souji's hips.
"Yeah... I want to try it with you, Kanji." He takes this moment to point at
the drawer beside the table. "I saw lube in there. Condoms, too."
This statement is apparently enough to make Kanji flush up and turn to rummage
through the drawer a little longer than necessary, but even when he has them in
hand, he manages to fumble them so badly they land on the floor.
About this time is where Souji decides to take matters into his own
hands–leaning over the edge of the bed and swiping up the bottle of lube. He
doesn't pass it to Kanji just yet, holding his reservations for the moment.
"Do you know what to do with this?"
"Duh."
Souji holds his gaze expectantly, and Kanji flushes more, obediently refraining
from reaching for it. Instead, Souji takes his hand and squeezes some of the
stuff out onto his fingertips, then guides him back by the wrist until his arm
is draped around Souji's waist.
"You can do it?" he asks. Kanji nods hard, his wet fingertips skidding over one
cheek before pressing against his hole. At first he's hesitant, afraid to push
inside even as Souji instructs him that it's fine–faltering when he presses
back until Souji has to hold his wrist tightly in place and use his own
leverage to allow two inside.
It doesn't feel bad; more awkward than anything, and Souji has to calm his
breathing as he keeps pushing down, slow and steady and never letting up for
too long. He's fairly sure if he were to stop right now, it'd be too hard to
start up again, so it's just easier like this.
"I-is it okay?" Kanji asks. His fingers are still. Souji hasn't let go of his
wrist yet, but he does so now, overly conscious of the fact that he's been
squeezing it rather tightly.
"It's fine." It'll be better when the awkwardness fades away, but for now, it's
enough that it doesn't hurt. "Why don't you try some things? I'll tell you if
it's painful."
Despite his assurance, Kanji is a little hesitant to start out with, fingers
nudging what feels like a centimeter at a time inside of him until he's as deep
as he can get. And then he just stops.
"Okay... now pull them out some. Try thrusting," Souji instructs, spreading his
thighs a little for balance and in preparation for whatever Kanji's going to
do.
He gets the point more quickly this time–fingers withdrawing and then pressing
in again, and Souji moans softly as he nudges up against something pleasurable.
It feels better this way, and he clings a little as Kanji gets the hang of it,
steadily becoming more rough about it (possibly in his own excitement) and
adding another finger to the mix.
Before long, Souji's panting against his shoulder, arching down in desperation
for more than just this. He wants it so badly it feels like nothing else exists
outside of this once again.
"Come on, Kanji... more," he breathes, reaching down and taking his cock in
hand. Apparently even spending the last several minutes doing nothing but
fingering Souji hasn't detracted from his enjoyment at all, because he's still
just as hard, and Souji licks his lips as he spreads some lube on his
fingertips and wraps them around him.
He doesn't manage to do much for pleasure–Kanji is all business suddenly,
rolling Souji onto his back and pushing his thighs up toward his chest, cock
bumping up against his hole. He's fiercely concentrated, desperate, and Souji
gets the feeling. He feels a lot like that too.
But he's still waiting for something. Even as his breaths come shorter and
shorter and his hips twitch forward, Kanji doesn't do anything.
"It's fine... I want it," Souji says softly, stroking his fingertips up Kanji's
sides. "Please..."
Kanji groans and it's clear he's just not able to hold back anymore. He starts
pushing in and Souji forces his body not to tense up too much, because he
really wants it. His head is already falling back against the pillow as Kanji's
cock opens him up and makes him gasp and bite down on his lip. It doesn't feel
good necessarily, but he's so excited for what's to come that he doesn't have
any problem taking it.
Each inch that fills him has him arching up more in anticipation, his arms
coming to wrap around Kanji's shoulder and hold him closer, pressing hot kisses
against his neck. It's as much affection as it is want–something filling him
that keeps him anxious and his toes curling until Kanji is all the way inside,
so thick that Souji's astounded he can take it.
"Kanji," he gasps, tucking his thighs tighter around him and arching up,
begging him to start thrusting. "I want it..."
Kanji obliges him, and maybe he's helpless in the face of Souji's begging, his
trembling body clinging so tightly that it probably hurts. But the point is
that he draws his hips back and starts pushing into him at last, tentatively at
first until he finally gives in completely to the pleading look on Souji's
face, giving him exactly what he needs–the hard thrust of his cock that leaves
Souji crying out and his whole body straining.
"Y-yeah... you look so good, senpai," Kanji whispers. His face is bright red,
and he seems so completely overwhelmed by Souji that it's honestly endearing.
Kanji is sweet; this strikes Souji at the strangest time, but it's true. He's
so open to being on the same ride as Souji–wants to see him feel good so badly
that he'd allow this, and that softens Souji in turn.
"Kanji..." he murmurs, holding him tighter, his body arching up against him and
begging for more, like he's waited this long to be held. Just by Kanji–just by
him, because he's the only one that's strong enough to keep Souji up, the only
one that Souji can count on for exactly this. He's overwhelmed suddenly,
because it's only been a matter of time.
He gets confessions. Letters in his cubby at school. They're a little odd,
because Souji's never known how to react to people who see him from afar and
think there's something there, but the Investigation Team has always been
different. He loves them, wants to take care of them and ensure that they're
happy, but he's always been the caretaker.
Except with Kanji. And it's not just that which draws Souji to him. It's
because Kanji is caring and he's so much more than anyone bothers to see–it
makes Souji want to curl up against him and hold tight.
But right now he's breathing hard, restlessly pushing his hips up against
Kanji, and his eyes are half-shut, delirious from how good it is with Kanji's
cock hitting that spot inside of him, and he feels like he's losing his mind
because it's just so good, everything he thought Kanji could do to him. He's
breathless, muttering things like please, more, because he's getting closer and
he doesn't think he can take much more without spilling over the edge.
"Kanji," he breathes harshly, his hands digging tight into him and pulling him
down until Kanji can't do much more than thrust into him–not fast, but deep,
his hips rutting up right against Souji's ass, and finally, he seems to give in
to that desperation too. It's like he wants to do this so badly that he can't
even think straight, his mouth intent on Souji's neck and his breath coming
heavy. It feels like too much, and Souji's hand slips down between their bodies
to wrap around his cock, jerking himself off fast.
He really doesn't want to come. He wants this to keep going, admittedly a
little afraid, because what if he doesn't get this anymore? What if this is the
only time? But he just can't hold back no matter how he forces it down, his
free arm clinging to Kanji's shoulder and his other hand squeezing his cock
until he gasps loudly and comes–body so tight around Kanji that he probably
can't help the way he follows after so quickly, filling his body with warmth
and a sense of satisfaction.
There's a sticky mess between their bodies when Souji begins to focus less on
the fact that it's over. He doesn't mind it so much; really, he can ignore it
in favor of the way Kanji is holding him, breathing against his neck and
pressing idle kisses to his throat.
"That was really good," he mumbles blearily.
Kanji laughs, fitting an arm between Souji's waist and the bed so that he can
pull him up a little closer. "Yeah?"
"Yeah..."
"So you wanna do it again sometime, senpai?"
"Absolutely." He sounds so serious that they both laugh, and the smile remains
on Souji's lips.
"I was scared," he murmurs after a couple moments of silence. "I thought...
it's my responsibility to make sure all of you are okay, but you help me a lot,
Kanji. And it's not just that, but I like the idea of being with you. I think
we'd be good together, you know?"
"Yeah, I know. I've been trying to tell you that the whole time. It's good that
you've finally come around."
Souji laughs, his eyes fluttered shut and soft against his cheeks, but his arms
around Kanji's shoulders pull him down so that he can return one of those
gentle kisses. "I'm not so scared of coming around if it's for you."
End Notes
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